Parenting Time Schedule Options

One of the biggest stressors in a separation between people that share children is: what will happen with the time I get to spend with my child(ren)? How will my physical relationship be impacted by this change?

It would be ignorant to say that everything will remain the same once one household splits into two. Even the best co-parents who experience little to no disagreement will have a shift in how much time they spend with their child(ren).

As with anything, a mental health professional (or professionals, if needed) can be paramount to the emotional impact of this change. But when you talk about the physical time that each party spends with their child(ren), there are usually a few different options.

First, I want to address terminology. In Colorado, we call the time that a child or children spend with their parent "parenting time" as opposed to "custody." This is my preference as well so I will be referring to what people often associate as "custody" with "parenting time" but in essence, they are the same concept.

When determining what parenting schedule will work best for you, there are several things to take into consideration. What are the ages of children for this schedule? What is the physical proximity the parents in relation to each other? What is the location of the school(s) for the children in relation to each party? How much "windshield time" (time spent in the car transporting the child(ren) between households?

It used to be assumed that parents in the role of a mother are automatically awarded more parenting time than fathers. This is no longer the case. Colorado operates under the standard of the Best Interests of the Child Statute. This is the only criteria the Court uses to determine a parenting time schedule if the parties are unable to work it out amongst themselves.

A question I received a decent amount as a paralegal was "can our children be on different schedules from one another?" What if one child has dance class that is right next to dad's house -- can that child live with dad more than with mom? What if one party alleges that the oldest child shares a close bond with them and states that the child does not wish to spend time with the other parent? What if one child has special needs that are best accommodated by one party over another? As with above, the Best Interests standard will be applied, but generally the Court prefers children to stay together.

Generally speaking, if parents are able to determine amongst themselves what parenting time schedule will work best for their family, it is always preferable than a Court deciding for them. But where do you start? Here are a few of the most popular schedules:

Week On/Week Off

This is an option that is self-explanatory and keeps things simple in terms of determining overnights for each party (essential for calculation of child support) and generally is easy for children to follow as well. This option gives both parties weekend time and shares the obligation of weekday activities such as school, medical appointments, clubs and extraordinary activities.

This schedule is not often recommended for younger children, however. For children under five years old, it is generally advised that they spend shorter, more frequent visits with the other parent. Seven days fly by for parents, but for younger kiddos it can seem like a long time to go between seeing the other parent.

Every Other Weekend

Another antiquated assumption that folks make when they think about parenting time is that a father will automatically be an "every other weekend dad." Sometimes this is the best schedule for a family. I can think of particular instances such as a parent that travels a lot for work, a parent that homeschools the children, a parent that has traditionally had a "hands-off" parenting relationship that wants to reintegrate into the child(ren)'s routines, lives and schedules. These schedules have worked well for some families in this way.

Often though, this does not give sufficient time to the parent experiencing every other weekend with the child(ren). Additionally, the parent with majority parenting time does not receive as much reprise from the responsibilities that come from daily tasks with the children such as helping with homework, getting the children to and from dentist appointments or interacting with the child(ren)'s coaches.

Summertime vs Schoolyear

Often times these schedules are used for long-distance parenting (i.e. one parent moves out of state or a significant distance from the other such as one parent living in Steamboat Springs and the other living in Greeley). However, other times it works out better for the parents for one party to exercise the majority of their parenting time during the schoolyear and the other party to exercise the majority of their parenting time in the summer. Depending on the proximity of the parties, this can sometimes work out to a 50/50 parenting time equalization if holidays, three-day weekends and other school breaks are also worked into the schedule.

Of course, the biggest drawback to this schedule is the bulk of time spent away from one parent while spending a large chunk of time with the other. Also, as with above, this can leave one party with a cumbersome amount of the schoolyear responsibilities while the other gets more of the "fun" time.

Other Schedules

In the absence of the above, Courts and attorneys have formulated parenting time schedules that largely give parents equal parenting time with the child(ren). These schedules are the ones used most prevalently in agreements these days though they can seem quite confusing at first. I offer the below charts as an example of parenting time agreements I have drafted in the past, though it is important to note that these days can be shifted in any way that best suits the parties and their child(ren).

5/2/2/5

Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Fri	Sat	Sun
Mother	Mother	Father	Father	Mother	Mother	Mother
Mother	Mother	Father	Father	Father	Father	Father

This schedule maintains the same weekdays per week per parent. In the above example, Mother gets parenting time every Monday and Tuesday and Father gets parenting time every Wednesday and Thursday. Then, the parents switch off weekends, including the Fridays.

4/3/3/4

Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Fri	Sat	Sun
Mother	Mother	Mother	Father	Father	Father	Mother
Mother	Mother	Mother	Father	Father	Father	Father

With this schedule, each party keeps the same three days and has one day that they alternate. In the above example, Mother would have every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday; Father would have every Thursday, Friday and Saturday; and the parties alternate Sundays.

2/3/3/2

Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Fri	Sat	Sun
Mother	Mother	Father	Father	Mother	Mother	Mother
Father	Father	Father	Mother	Mother	Father	Father

This is a schedule that is used often for younger children and infants (though this can change greatly depending on if an infant is still on a breastfeeding schedule). The only rhythm that this schedule maintains is that the parties will alternate whether they have the child(ren) for two days or for three days and then rotate that number of days. This gives the children frequent, shorter visits with each party, as recommended by professionals.

Step-Up Parenting Plan

Sometimes it is appropriate to have a parenting time schedule that grows with your family's needs. This may be when the parties have a newborn child or when one parent is being reintegrated into the family due to absence, addiction, incarceration or a number of other precautions. These schedules can vary greatly and have dependencies attached to them. Examples of this might be sobriety testing, attending therapy, completion of or phasing out of supervised visitation.

Generally . . .

The final note about parenting time is that parents should focus on, as a Court will, what is in the best interests of their child(ren). These are only examples of what I have seen in my time as a paralegal, but the possibilities are endless, especially when the parties can keep their children's welfare as their North Star!